The Tantrum

It's a rite of passage, I guess. Yesterday, Lauren had her first real tantrum. It was over something very small and silly, but boy, was she mad.

Lately, she's been asking me to carry her everywhere. I don't know why, but it's getting kind of annoying. She calls herself "you", so whenever we get up to go somewhere, even if it's from the den into the kitchen, she puts her arms up and says, "carry you?"

So, yesterday, she wanted a snack, and wanted to go to the kitchen. I said okay, and we stood up. She said, "carry you?" and I said, "No, but I'll hold your hand while we walk." She turned red, and screamed, "No hold hand! Carry you!" I said, "No, I'm not going to carry you, but I will hold you hand while we walk." More screaming. She melted down so completely, that I figured, okay, we're at home, no one is around, and I have time, so I'm just going to stand my ground and see how long she keeps it up.

So, I sat down in front of her, so we were eye-level with each other, and I just calmly watched her scream, turn red, shake and cry. When she would start to lighten up, I'd quietly ask her, "Do you want to hold hands and go to the kitchen?" and she'd start up again, screaming "NO, CARRY YOU!" So I'd sit and watch her scream some more. Sometimes she put her head on my shoulder and screamed. I just hugged her, and would occasionally ask her again, "Do you want to hold hands...?"

It went on for almost 40 minutes. My right shoulder of my shirt was completely soaked with tears, drool, and snot. Kind of gross. I wanted to give in. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to just pick her up and take her upstairs and put her in her crib and walk away. But, I didn't. I just sat there and spoke very quietly to her, and held my ground.

Finally she started to calm down a little, and I asked her if she wanted to hold hands to go into the kitchen to get some cheesecake bites. She sniffled and nodded. We stood up, she took my hand, and we walked into the kitchen. She sniffled and snuffled the whole time, but she wasn't crying anymore. We got to the kitchen, got the cheesecake bites, and walked back to the den. She took the container of cheesecake bites and popped one into her mouth, and chewed thoughtfully. (She'd never had a cheesecake bite before.) She nodded, and said, "Good cheese cake." Then she handed me one. I knew we were okay at that point.

Two more times yesterday afternoon and evening she asked me to "carry you?" and I said, "No, but we can hold hands." Both times she nodded and said, "Hold hands." So, success!

After dinner, it was time to head up to bed. She asked me to hold hands. We walked over to Mr. Fro, and when we got near him, she let go of my hand, and put her arms up to him and said, "Carry you?" He picked her up. She then held her hand out to me and said, "hold hands?" So, she managed to figure out the best of both worlds.